Tag Archives: Humor

Thursday, 12/19/13, Public Square

Joker the reindeer

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by | December 19, 2013 · 6:00 am

Friday, 10/21/11, Public Square

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Wednesday, 1/26/11, Public Square

I felt like a day of fun was in order!  Did you have a dream either realized or unrealized about what you’d do / be when you ‘grew up’?  Are you still becoming who you will be when you grow up?  I am!  🙂

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It’s All Okay Now!



Well, at long last, the Republican Party of No! has delivered their master plan to fix all that ails America. The newly minted “Pledge to America” (not to be confused with the Contract on America) promises that all will be okay if we just elect a majority from the GOP.

The Republicans, after exhaustive research, have determined that our problems are all the fault of the Democrats. Taxes are too high (despite being the lowest that they have been in over fifty years) and spending is too high, also. The solutions are simple – make the Bush tax cuts permanent and freeze spending at 2008 levels.

Now, Republicans and Tea Baggers have been telling us for two years now that debt and deficits are the reasons for the Great Recession, so you would expect that their plan takes a huge bite out of spending and deficits.

If you did, you would be wrong. The grand plan from the Republicans would save an astounding $100 billion per year, before the tax cuts kicked in. Taking the tax program into consideration continues annual deficits for the foreseeable future and adds nearly $4 trillion to the debt over the next decade.

The Republicans should be congratulated – in two years they have taken a scalpel to the budget  and come up with areas to be cut totaling $100 billion. Of course, they can’t tell us where they are going to cut, but we should trust them, right? After all, they did a bang up job the last time around.

The GOP has assured us that they will not be cutting Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, defense or veterans benefits. They are going to freeze Congressional expenses. Great!

The GOP also plans to save America by repealing HCR and replace it with something that they have yet to develop. Whatever it is, you can be assured that it is going to be as good as all their other great plans they have come up with over the years.

So, breathe easy, it’s all okay now, the Republicans will soon be in charge once again. So far, they haven’t announced any plans to start a war with anyone that isn’t a threat to the US, but they have plenty of time to drum up a case for going to war with Iran.

Don’t you feel better now?


William Stephenson Clark

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Well, Hell, yes! Obama IS an alien!

Everybody knows that Barack Muhammad Obama was actually born on the planet Sneezit, in the Galaxy of Ahhhhhh-Chooooooooo!

Why is there any question? Anyone that is from any planet other than Earth can see that at first glance. Even “indoctrinated” Earthlings can recognize the obvious signs of alien birth.

Let’s look at the signs:

Obama has no Earthly living parents.

His “grandmother” mysteriously died moments before the Election.

Ha-wau-eee was once a moon of Sneezit.

His “Birth Certificate” was forged by Bill Ayers and Bernadette Dohrn.

No one had ever seen Barack Obama before 2004.

Barack Obama changes clothes in phone booths.

No one has ever seen Obama pee!

Michelle has a birth certificate from the planet Cough.

Sasha and Malia were born on the planet Sniffles.

And look at the EARS! (They receive radio signals from space.)

There is more. When Obama plays basketball (a game invented on the planet Sniffles) he can dunk like Jordan, block out like Wilt and pass like Magic. Recently, while playing a pick up game, he drove the lane against Dwight Howard, spun in mid-air and slammed home a two handed tomahawk that shattered the backboard.

Mortal? I think not.

But there is more. Did you all think that George WMD Bush was a product of HW and Barbara? Come on!

Harry Reid? Planet Incompetua.

John Bohner? Planet Tansekan.

Sharron Angle? Planet Bagidiotica.

Bill Clinton? The Galaxy Bluedresscia.

Rush Limbaugh? Planet (Triple) Cheeseburger.

Glen Beck? Thrown out of the Galaxy, too weird for even aliens.

Damn, can’t you Earthlings get it? We aliens have taken over and you folks just think that you have a few doofuses running around.

Sham-Wow!? Invented on Planet Kleenex by Vince Offer.

Spangles? Sent by the evil rulers of Planet Renee.

Billy Mays? From the Galaxy Infomercialia.

Jan Brewer? Planet Leatherfacia.

Lindsay Lohan? She’s all yours.

Halle Berry? She’s all mine, as soon as the restraining order expires.

Just look at the evidence. It’s all there if you would just open your eyes.

And George WMD Bush?

Born on Planet Awolski, in the Galaxy Cokenosian.


William Stephenson Clark, aka, Will of Satiria

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Lindsay, why should we care?

Well, the “other” Lindsey is much more newsworthy, but we get a constant diet of Lindsay Lohan in the media. Lindsey Graham will have an impact on our lives, through his work in the Senate.

Lindsey Lohan is a circus sideshow.

For those of you that have managed to to be hiding in a safe cave for the last several weeks, Lindsay Lohan was just sentenced to 90 days in jail for probation violations. Poor Lindsay broke down in tears and showed us her hand-painted nails, complete with “Fuck You” stenciled on the middle fingers of both hands.

My heart breaks for her!

We have also learned in recent days, that Jake has been withholding sex from Vienna, who ever the Hell they are. We also know that Justin Bieber wants to remain “pure.”

So what? Why should we care?

Jessica Simpson has a new (married) boyfriend and rumor has it that the “Jessica Simpson’s Ass” factor played into the relationship.

So what? Why should we care?

Senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC) is one of the few Republicans willing to buck the Tea Party and actually work with Democrats to improve the country. Yet, somehow it is important to Americans that Lindsay Lohan, spoiled brat of Hollywood, is going to have to spend a few days in jail.

As Americans, have we been reduced to headlines in “People” and “Us” magazines?

Now, it is been confirmed that I am officially an old SOB. I don’t pay much attention to “celebrity news” or the latest gossip headlines. Who the Hell cares if Jon Gosselin is going to write a book? Do you think it will sell as well as “A Tale of Two Cities?”

So what? Why should we care?

Americans have much more important things to think about such as, now that LeBron has announced that he will sign with Miami, (dumb ass)  how is that going to effect the orbital path of the Earth?


William Stephenson Clark

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“And he kicks the ball!!!!!!!!”

Okay, that’s not quite as good as “Brady back to pass, finds Moss in the end zone, touchdown!”

Dang, it’s not even as good as “Lidstrom, takes a pass from Datsyuk. He shoots, he scores!!!!!”

Sometimes, this is even better – “Couch needs to pick up this spare for the victory….”

Americans just haven’t warmed up to the rest of the world’s favorite spectator sport. There is a great possibility that 95 out of a 100 of us couldn’t even tell you how many players are on a side (eleven including  the goalkeeper) or how long a match is (two 45 minute halves.)

And what’s with the name? In the US, it is called “soccer” but most of the rest of the world calls it “football.” To complicate matters, the Australians call it football, but their national team is the “Socceroos.”

Aside from David Beckham, who’s married to Foot Spice or some such, most Americans couldn’t even name a single soccer player. Who do these guys play for:

Landon Donovan

Ronaldo Lima

Cristiano Ronaldo

Zinedine Zidane

Lucas Podolski

Ndamukong Suh

(Answers at the end of the column.)

So, have any of you watched any World Cup action yet, or have the vuvuzela horns kept you away?  For those of you that don’t know, the World Cup is the single largest sporting event in the world and the championship of soccer, featuring 32 national teams and is currently being held in South Africa.

Nelson Mandela was scheduled to attend, but did not after the death of his great-granddaughter in a car crash the night before the opening ceremonies. She was two days past her thirteenth birthday.

Apparently, soccer is just too boring for Americans. Truthfully, that is just too bad, also, since it is a beautiful game played by elite athletes.

Maybe, one day America will join the rest of the world in appreciation of “football.”

But, probably not.


William Stephenson Clark


(Donovan – USA, Lima – Brazil, Ronaldo – Portugal, Zidane – France,  Podolski – Germany.)

(Suh is the first round draft choice of the Detroit Lions, out of Nebraska. He is 6’4″ and 307# and is considered to be one of the best ever defensive ends coming out of college. His father, Michael Suh, played soccer for Cameroon before immigrating to the US.)

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