Tag Archives: blogosphere
Children are all foreigners.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.” — Sidney J. Harris
OK! Pony up, folks! Otherwise, be prepared for Boehner, the head clown, leading the clowning around of the House under the G.O.P. leadership. What will they accomplish? Remember! It wasn’t that long ago, we haven’t even fully recovered and they haven’t changed.
Well some one masquerading as Will Clark, busted in on Pop Blog and wrote a column that appeared last Friday entitled “Women are cats, men are dogs.” That got a few folks, mostly of the feline persuasion worked up. Yes, your pets do blog, also, usually while you are sleeping.
But let’s face it, there are two different standards for men and women. A man, while being a bit on the less than buff side, with sagging jowls and grey hair, can still be considered “sexy.” For that matter, he can be on the wrong side of the “ugly meter” and still be considered mildly “sexy.”
(Dang, if I were any uglier, they’d put me in a Zoo, but I do all right.)
Women, on the other hand, have to meet “standards.” God-forbid that a woman, especially a public figure, have a muffin top or a wide behind.
But let’s reverse the roles. What if Brad Pitt or the Old Spice Guy were the MINIMUM standard for men, and women could get by looking and acting like Betty White.
Now, I love Betty White, but she isn’t exactly my ideal fantasy for a woman. There are no restraining orders keeping me from ringing up Betty. What if Rosie O’Donnell was considered to be a “hot babe” in a role reversed world? What about Kelly Osbourne? Male Teen pin up?
In a Role Reversed world, George Clooney would be out until he touched up the grey. Matt Damon, close but still second tier. The same goes for Will Smith. Jon Mayer. Gone.
The rich and powerful men of the world? Bill Gates? Yikes! Joe Biden? Whoa, what a comb-over! The original world’s worst comb over, “the Donald?” Reduced to personal ads in the Village voice. Bono? Singing in the shower – alone. Newt Gingrich? What can you say?
Oh, and Barack? A little advice………………………………..
“Just for Men” and “www.BeachBody.com.”
And, for God’s sake, do something about the ears!
William Stephenson Clark
Everybody knows that Barack Muhammad Obama was actually born on the planet Sneezit, in the Galaxy of Ahhhhhh-Chooooooooo!
Why is there any question? Anyone that is from any planet other than Earth can see that at first glance. Even “indoctrinated” Earthlings can recognize the obvious signs of alien birth.
Let’s look at the signs:
Obama has no Earthly living parents.
His “grandmother” mysteriously died moments before the Election.
Ha-wau-eee was once a moon of Sneezit.
His “Birth Certificate” was forged by Bill Ayers and Bernadette Dohrn.
No one had ever seen Barack Obama before 2004.
Barack Obama changes clothes in phone booths.
No one has ever seen Obama pee!
Michelle has a birth certificate from the planet Cough.
Sasha and Malia were born on the planet Sniffles.
And look at the EARS! (They receive radio signals from space.)
There is more. When Obama plays basketball (a game invented on the planet Sniffles) he can dunk like Jordan, block out like Wilt and pass like Magic. Recently, while playing a pick up game, he drove the lane against Dwight Howard, spun in mid-air and slammed home a two handed tomahawk that shattered the backboard.
Mortal? I think not.
But there is more. Did you all think that George WMD Bush was a product of HW and Barbara? Come on!
Harry Reid? Planet Incompetua.
John Bohner? Planet Tansekan.
Sharron Angle? Planet Bagidiotica.
Bill Clinton? The Galaxy Bluedresscia.
Rush Limbaugh? Planet (Triple) Cheeseburger.
Glen Beck? Thrown out of the Galaxy, too weird for even aliens.
Damn, can’t you Earthlings get it? We aliens have taken over and you folks just think that you have a few doofuses running around.
Sham-Wow!? Invented on Planet Kleenex by Vince Offer.
Spangles? Sent by the evil rulers of Planet Renee.
Billy Mays? From the Galaxy Infomercialia.
Jan Brewer? Planet Leatherfacia.
Lindsay Lohan? She’s all yours.
Halle Berry? She’s all mine, as soon as the restraining order expires.
Just look at the evidence. It’s all there if you would just open your eyes.
And George WMD Bush?
Born on Planet Awolski, in the Galaxy Cokenosian.
William Stephenson Clark, aka, Will of Satiria
Well, I don’t care that Alex Rodriguez just hit his 600th career home run. I don’t care that Lady Gaga just was nominated for a thousand awards. I could care less about Bristol and Levi. And who, other than Shaq, cares that Shaquille O’Neal just sign with the Boston Celtics?
I do care that the Republican side of the aisle is trashing the President and the Democrats, with little resistance from our side. The pace of distorted “facts,” outright lies and conveniently ignored data has quickened as we move through primary season and into the fall mid-term elections. Could someone please tell me why Democrats don’t “fight fire with fire?”
I don’t care about the Maxine Waters and Charlie Rangel ethics issues. As far as I am concerned, they should resign now. I don’t care what Todd Tiahrt is going to do now that he has lost his primary race to Jerry Moran.
I do care about the ruling of the Federal Judge in California regarding gay marriage. I do care that that Susan Collins and Olympia Snowe, two Republicans, did the right thing and voted for the Senate jobs bill. The rest of the Republicans voted against, despite the fact that it is deficit neutral.
I don’t care that someone has come up with a new sitcom entitled “Shit My Dad Says!” I also don’t care that the Parents Television Council wants advertisers to boycott the show. Hell, I don’t watch television other than sports, so why would I care about any of it? Besides, what’s a “Snooki?”
I do care that on January 20, 2009, Republicans suddenly became anti-war and fiscal conservatives. I do care that Bradley Manning may have betrayed our soldiers and allies in Afghanistan. I do care, that while about 90% of Democrats support President Obama, we seem to be gun-shy about saying it. I do care that the Con/Republicans seem to want to ignore the facts that they caused the Great Recession and the Democrats, led by President Obama, have brought us to a slow but steady recovery.
I don’t care that Albert Haynesworth can’t pass his conditioning test and Mike Gloic can.
(Haynesworth is a $120 million defensive lineman for the Washington Redskins. Mike Golic was also a defensive lineman – he retired sixteen years ago and now is a sportscaster. Haynesworth has failed his test three times. Golic, to prove a point, ran the same test and completed it within the allotted time.)
There are many things I do care about and a whole bunch that I don’t care about.
How about you?
William Stephenson Clark