It’s All Okay Now!

Well, at long last, the Republican Party of No! has delivered their master plan to fix all that ails America. The newly minted “Pledge to America” (not to be confused with the Contract on America) promises that all will be okay if we just elect a majority from the GOP.

The Republicans, after exhaustive research, have determined that our problems are all the fault of the Democrats. Taxes are too high (despite being the lowest that they have been in over fifty years) and spending is too high, also. The solutions are simple – make the Bush tax cuts permanent and freeze spending at 2008 levels.

Now, Republicans and Tea Baggers have been telling us for two years now that debt and deficits are the reasons for the Great Recession, so you would expect that their plan takes a huge bite out of spending and deficits.

If you did, you would be wrong. The grand plan from the Republicans would save an astounding $100 billion per year, before the tax cuts kicked in. Taking the tax program into consideration continues annual deficits for the foreseeable future and adds nearly $4 trillion to the debt over the next decade.

The Republicans should be congratulated – in two years they have taken a scalpel to the budget  and come up with areas to be cut totaling $100 billion. Of course, they can’t tell us where they are going to cut, but we should trust them, right? After all, they did a bang up job the last time around.

The GOP has assured us that they will not be cutting Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, defense or veterans benefits. They are going to freeze Congressional expenses. Great!

The GOP also plans to save America by repealing HCR and replace it with something that they have yet to develop. Whatever it is, you can be assured that it is going to be as good as all their other great plans they have come up with over the years.

So, breathe easy, it’s all okay now, the Republicans will soon be in charge once again. So far, they haven’t announced any plans to start a war with anyone that isn’t a threat to the US, but they have plenty of time to drum up a case for going to war with Iran.

Don’t you feel better now?

William Stephenson Clark


Filed under Republicans

6 responses to “It’s All Okay Now!

  1. Hypocrite alert: One of the leading men behind Republicans’ “Pledge to America” document, centered on bringing back the country’s founding ideals, is a lobbyist with expansive ties to some of the biggest corporations in the country. A draft of the document, officially unveiled Thursday, shows Brian Wild as the author. Wild, it turns out, was paid $740,000 to lobby for insurance giant AIG during his five years at the lobbying firm Nickles Group. He also accepted more than $1 million from Comcast, $1.3 million from ExxonMobil, and $625,000 from Pfizer. Prior to that, he served as a legislative aide to Rep. Pat Toomey and an assistant to Vice President Dick Cheney. Republicans deny the connection, saying Wild played only an administrative role in the pledge, helping “to keep the trains running between all the leadership offices.”

    • wicked

      …$1 million from Comcast, $1.3 million from ExxonMobil, and $625,000 from Pfizer.

      Damn, I’m in the wrong business. I know how to schmooze, so they should be hiring me, not this bozo.

  2. tosmarttobegop

    Yesterday every time a Republican was put on the spot to give details or specific ways this all would be done. It was dismissed with they would come up with the details or solutions after they took the majority.

    “ I promise you the world if you marry me…. But then I did not say which world or that it would be a good one!”.

    While the lacking of details or specifics make a difference?

    No, by and large few ever want either’s or care to know.
    Thinking or the lack of it is why we elect them so we do not have to.

    It was funny when one was put on the spot he admitted that this is nothing more then a brief outline and does not mean that is what they will actually do! And that there are many things that they will not reveal that they intend to do.

  3. It’s what they hope will assure them of election. It worked before — 16 years ago. Their constituency doesn’t need much more than the little “R.” It doesn’t matter that 16 years ago they wrote stuff down and didn’t look at it again until recently when they decided to write it down again.

    One of their ‘promises’ in their new ‘pledge’ is to end the Troubled Asset Relief Program (TARP) which under current law ends on October 3rd. Guess that will be the one they point to and tell stupid people they did that. Stupid people will go on their merry way ‘knowing’ what the GOP wants them to know.

  4. Zippy

    Whoa, hang on! Look at their fresh new ideas!

    This is just utterly brilliant. From the Daily Show:

    The “new” GOP agenda:

  5. Republicans are fighting for tax cuts for the rich and according to their ‘pledge’ they plan to roll back spending to 2008 levels before TARP and stimulus. Everyone does remember that 1/3 of the stimulus spending was on tax reductions for 95% of Americans, don’t you?

    Why do Republicans want to raise taxes for 95% of Americans while protecting tax cuts for the wealthiest 2% and raising the deficit?