Role Reversal

Well some one masquerading as Will Clark, busted in on Pop Blog and wrote a column that appeared last Friday entitled “Women are cats, men are dogs.” That got a few folks, mostly of the feline persuasion worked up. Yes, your pets do blog, also, usually while you are sleeping.

But let’s face it, there are two different standards for men and women. A man, while being a bit on the less than buff side, with sagging jowls and grey hair, can still be considered “sexy.” For that matter, he can be on the wrong side of the “ugly meter” and still be considered mildly “sexy.”

(Dang, if I were any uglier, they’d put me in a Zoo, but I do all right.)

Women, on the other hand, have to meet “standards.” God-forbid that a woman, especially a public figure, have a muffin top or a wide behind.

But let’s reverse the roles. What if Brad Pitt or the Old Spice Guy were the MINIMUM standard for men, and women could get by looking and acting like Betty White.

Now, I love Betty White, but she isn’t exactly my ideal fantasy for a woman. There are no restraining orders keeping me from ringing up Betty. What if Rosie O’Donnell was considered to be a “hot babe” in a role reversed world? What about Kelly Osbourne? Male Teen pin up?

In a Role Reversed world, George Clooney would be out until he touched up the grey. Matt Damon, close but still second tier. The same goes for Will Smith. Jon Mayer. Gone.

The rich and powerful men of the world? Bill Gates? Yikes! Joe Biden? Whoa, what a comb-over! The original world’s worst comb over, “the Donald?” Reduced to personal ads in the Village voice. Bono? Singing in the shower – alone. Newt Gingrich? What can you say?

Oh, and Barack? A little advice………………………………..

“Just for Men” and “www.BeachBody.com.”


And, for God’s sake, do something about the ears!



William Stephenson Clark

14 Comments

Filed under American Society, Humor

14 responses to “Role Reversal

  1. tosmarttobegop

    Mae West use to be the standard for a sexy and sensual woman.
    If you look to art you notice that the nude model was always round in more places then just two places.
    The term “’Rubenesque’ “ referring to the painter Peter Paul Ruben who was known for his fondness for painting full figured women.

    The idealistic view of women has change over the years from real women to that of the more stick figured. As I mentioned before they do not make sheer, sexy and beautiful things for real women. Anything much above a size 4 is risking looking like it could hold back a tank.

    It is often funny to me, the normal concept of a guy looking for some tiny and firm teen to bed for some sex. When the reality is that if he wanted the experience to remember he would be sweet talking some 30 or 40 something.

    A teen still has the concept that sex mainly only involves just lay there and staring at the ceiling. A woman by the time they are in their thirties or forties have figured out that if they want to be fulfilled in bed it means being active in the process.

    Men to it often takes time to figure out sex and fulfillment, there is no more passionate and memorable sexual encounter then when a woman is on fire!

    I have to agree women are far more forgiving and open to more then just looks.
    Don’t get me wrong, a guy walking by with a butt that looks like he could crack walnuts with his cheek. Will get a whole group of women to suddenly stop talk and just stare.
    But over all women do not hold attraction to just the firmness of a man’s butt.

    LOL my best friend and I were waiting in line to go to the movies one night.
    And a couple walked by, he was short for a man and on the up side of over weight.
    Not the best looking in the face.

    She on the other hand was a Goddess, Blond and tall with a prefect body and a face that could inspire an artist to stop and start to paint her.

    My friend who is one of my best straight men, asked out loud “why can’t I find a woman like that?”.

    To which I answered out loud, “Maybe because you are gay!”.

    He went beet red and swore to get even with me, yeah the time came he did!

    • Sorry, those with two X chromosomes, but I can’t resist:

      tstb, did anyone think to check his stock portfolio (re: the guy in line at the movies)? Or, maybe he had “married up” (as, thank goodness, I did), and the woman he was with was his daughter. Or…

  2. Ah, Betty White; what a woman! And Mae West; no one who purports to have a Y chromosome should ignore a woman like that. (Favorite Mae West line: She comes promenading down a staircase wearing a mink. At the bottom of the stairs is a group of dowagers, one of whom looks up and exclaims “Oh, my Goodness!”, to which Ms West replies “Goodness had nothing to do with it.”)

    Rubens nudes; that is art an art illiterate can appreciate (just ask me).

    Then, in later times, there was Raquel Welch. Also, who can (well, at least those of us with a Y chromosome) forget Ann-Margaret’s nude scene in Carnal Knowledge? Even my wife appreciated that she was 1) so gorgeous; and 2) apparently at ease.

    Then, the big deal my Freshman year in college: Jane Fonda in Barbarella. Didn’t do much for me, but a number of my fellow Grace Pearson residents went to that movie multiple times.

    As I enter my 7th decade, I find my attentions turning to those who don’t meet the “current standards” in physical appearance. Intellectual attractiveness will get me quicker (I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t hurt if the woman possesses a certain physical attraction, too), as it has more staying power.

    True confessions over. Time to (try to) get to work, as I listen to ABBA (don’t ask; just my mood right now).

  3. One time when the discussion went to men and younger women, the hubby of a good friend remarked, “What are you gonna talk about after you roll off? I don’t know what the latest album is!”

    It was his way of acknowledging how much more time is spent in talking and oh so many other areas of life.

    We do concentrate too much on outward looks, don’t we? How many times does the attractive become ugly or the less than attractive become beautiful when you get to know the person?

    Since a female’s more sensitive erogenous zone is her brain you’ll always see men of all outside appearances appreciated by women for all the right reasons.

  4. wicked

    Looks are important…to a point. After that, as fnord said, there needs to be something more, and not just something going on in bed…if at all.

    Some of the men I find or have found sexy Hollywood-wise are Dustin Hoffman (have you taken a good look at that nose?), Richard Dreyfus (not exactly an Adonis), the older Sean Connery (never did care for him as 007), and a host of others who wouldn’t be on the cover of GQ’s Sexiest Men. Okay, Sean might be, but…

    While looks could possibly be what grabs my initial attention, a man with an IQ under 100 would soon be a turn-off. Under 150 would be closer. (Obviously, Republicans need not apply. it’s a joke, itoldyouso.) Thinks women should be barefoot and pregnant and after the age of reproduction should stay in the kitchen? Bye-bye.

    Obviously a sense of humor is at the top of the list for me. However, there are some who wouldn’t last more than 5 minutes. Will Ferrell, Jim Carey, and a long list of others or anyone like them might as well keep walking. I don’t care what they look like or how loudly their pockets might jingle. (I don’t bother with their movies, either.)

    Yeah, I’m picky. Any questions?

  5. Mean spirits in both men and women will turn me away. If they’ve developed the habit of looking for the worst they will always find it.

    Of course we mustn’t forget the old joke —

    Democrats are sexier! Who ever heard of a great piece of elephant?

  6. While looks could possibly be what grabs my initial attention, a man with an IQ under 100 would soon be a turn-off. Under 150 would be closer. (Emphasis added)

    Ah, wicked, how could you do this to me? 😉

    • wicked

      I had no intention of wounding. 😦 It’s just a number, isn’t it? Fact is, there’s nothing wrong with an average or even lower than average IQ, if you use your brain or your talents or whatever in an intelligent way.

      And that goes for hims and hers. (Yes, I should take my own advice. 🙂 )

    • People I enjoy being around are curious. And, I love being around smart people — there is so much I need to learn!

  7. Happy people are more sexy. Ever been around a grouch? I know we all try to avoid them, and I’ve never found that a grouch is a ‘turn on.’

    • paulasayles

      Yeah and nobody loves a Debbie Downer either. There are some folks around here that, if you handed them a $100 would look at it and say, “Yeah, but it’s a little dirty and kind of wrinkly.” When it’s impossible to find joy, it doesn’t matter how beautiful you are.

  8. tosmarttobegop

    Whippy Goldberg for a while to me was attractive, now it was not her looks but her personality.

    Like was said, her intelligence and wit is a turn on thinking about spending time with her.