Ya, think? Mind you, this is not a bad thing. Cats are wonderful little creatures, full of mischievous, always getting into trouble but lovable anyway. Dogs, on the other hand, can be trained, unlike cats, and they generally follow commands and are obedient.
Kind of like men and women.
Now, before the “Angels” come for me – “Charlie’s, not Hell’s” – I should say that I respect women and have always supported equal rights for women.
That statement should give me at least a five-minute head start on the posse.
But men and women are different. Truly. Men will spend three hours watching Timbuktu U. v Bumfart College battle it out on the gridiron, while women will still bring a fifty pound bale of tissue while they watch “Beaches” for the twenty-ninth time.
Women will stop and ask directions from a stranger on the street, while men will drive around aimlessly before even thinking about asking the guy at QT “where is Main Street?”
Women want an oil filter. Men want a FRAM oil filter. Men know what 10W40 means, women think they “might” need oil in the engine. Men will pull over and pee on a tree. Women will hold it until their eyeballs explode before using a bathroom that is not clean.
Women want clean sheets. Men want to get between the sheets. Women “work” in the kitchen, but men “cook!” Women leave a clean kitchen, but men are fine with it looking like an explosion in a tomato sauce factory.
Men clip their fingernails, sometimes using the In-Sink-Erator, while women get their nails “done.” Men shop around to find the $5.00 haircut, while women get their hair “done.”
What does “done” mean? You mean, like “done” forever, or just for today?
Women shave their legs. Men, well shaving is something we avoid like watching Beaches one more time. Men fart, women toot. Women “need to go,” while men “Damn, I need to piss!”
Men are dogs, no doubt. Women, well they will never admit it, but they are cats!
So, from my “undisclosed location,” in a fortified bunker surrounded by armed guards, I ask you:
Cat or dog?
William Stephenson Clark