Cats are women, men are dogs.

Ya, think? Mind you, this is not a bad thing. Cats are wonderful little creatures, full of mischievous, always getting into trouble but lovable  anyway. Dogs, on the other hand, can be trained, unlike cats, and they generally follow commands and are obedient.

Kind of like men and women.

Now, before the “Angels” come for me – “Charlie’s, not Hell’s” – I should say that I respect women and have always supported equal rights for women.

That statement should give me at least a five-minute head start on the posse.

But men and women are different. Truly. Men will spend three hours watching Timbuktu U. v Bumfart College battle it out on the gridiron, while women will still bring a fifty pound bale of tissue while they watch “Beaches” for the twenty-ninth time.

Women will stop and ask directions from a stranger on the street, while men will drive around aimlessly before even thinking about asking the guy at QT “where is Main Street?”

Women want an oil filter. Men want a FRAM oil filter. Men know what 10W40 means, women think they “might” need oil in the engine. Men will pull over and pee on a tree. Women will hold it until their eyeballs explode before using a bathroom that is not clean.

Women want clean sheets. Men want to get between the sheets. Women “work” in the kitchen, but men “cook!” Women leave a clean kitchen, but men are fine with it looking like an explosion in a tomato sauce factory.

Men clip their fingernails, sometimes using the In-Sink-Erator, while women get their nails “done.” Men shop around to find the $5.00 haircut, while women get their hair “done.”

What does “done” mean? You mean, like “done” forever, or just for today?

Women shave their legs. Men, well shaving is something we avoid like watching Beaches one more time. Men fart, women toot. Women “need to go,” while men “Damn, I need to piss!”

Men are dogs, no doubt. Women, well they will never admit it, but they are cats!

So, from my “undisclosed location,” in a fortified bunker surrounded by armed guards, I ask you:

Cat or dog?


William Stephenson Clark

37 Comments

Filed under American Society

37 responses to “Cats are women, men are dogs.

  1. paulasayles

    In general, I agree. But, these ARE generalities.

    For instance, I know that my car needs 5W30 oil because my engine tends to run hot and needs a lighter weight oil.

    I’ve seen Beaches two or three times, but I bet my husband has seen it more times than I have. (I hated Steel Magnolias, too, by the way. Although it has some of the best one-liners of any movie ever made, I didn’t feel the least bit sorry when Julia Roberts died. I thought she was a selfish b.)

    I always buy the Pro Football Weekly annual preseason review and I LOVE college football. We will be going to see our first major college game in person next month when we travel to Baton Rouge to watch our friends’ son play for LSU.

    I’m a cat that likes sports and can’t sleep on dirty sheets. 🙂

  2. wicked

    If I had to choose, I’d rather be a cat. Literally, not just in the sense of this blog, which is, as Paula says, mostly generalities.

    I cry at lots of movies. I just watched How to Make an American Quilt and cried. I’m a movie crier! I sometimes cry when I read a book.

    I know about oil. In fact, I can check my oil and add if needed! I can change a tire. I can change a kitchen faucet. I had to learn to do many things during my 24 years of marriage-incarceration.

    I cook in the kitchen, and right now the sink is full of dishes. Rinsed, but not yet washed. I’ve never had my nails done. I’m lucky when I have nails.

    I’ve peed in a field–more than once–although it’s messy. I don’t have a handy little gadget. 😉 I enjoy watching pro football, although that’s the only ‘pro’ sport I like. I’ve been a Cowboys fan for over 40 years, but I’ve seen the Chiefs play twice, in person. I’ll take college for basketball and WSU only for baseball. (20+ years of watching men’s softball ruined me for baseball.)

    I think men tend to follow the male-type things more than women, but maybe that’s because dogs are so easily trained. 🙂

  3. Freedomwriter

    Okay—so I’m a cat, but I LOVE dogs!

  4. @William Stephenson Clark

    “I should say that I respect women and have always supported equal rights for women.”

    That’s great; but, how much respect for men do you have and have you ever supported equal rights for men? The way you talk about us guys is very discouraging. I don’t think we’re “dogs” as you put it. =(

    • badbiker

      Tongue-in-cheek.

      As for “men’s rights” – I have never been discriminated against because I am a man.

      • badbiker

        Bad Biker = William Stephenson Clark.

      • As you a guy you had to sign up for the draft. As a guy you were not protected from circumcision like females are. As a guy you are likely to be turned away from domestic violence shelters, if you are trying to escape an abusive relationships. As a guy you are not equally represented in the government, i.e. there are many federal councils for women and girls, but none exist for men. I could go on; but, there are a lot of discriminations that men have to face.

      • WSClark

        I am not trying to start a flame war – that is not how we do things around here – but I have some issues with your statements.

        As you a guy you had to sign up for the draft.

        It’s been about 20 years since the draft was abolished.

        As a guy you were not protected from circumcision like females are.

        There is no logical reason to circumcise females, there is (debatable) for men.

        As a guy you are likely to be turned away from domestic violence shelters, if you are trying to escape an abusive relationships.

        Yes, they are gender-specific, for the protection of the residents. If there has sufficient need, there would be shelters for men also.

        As a guy you are not equally represented in the government, i.e. there are many federal councils for women and girls, but none exist for men.

        Not to be factitious, but it’s a bit like the argument we hear every February: “When is White History Month?” Well, it’s the other ELEVEN months of the year. Women have only begun to achieve equality in the last 100 years. Men have been dominate for thousands of years.

        You make some good points, “Men” but I have to disagree, respectfully.

    • paulasayles

      Well, it is true that men are discriminated against in some ways. I have always noticed that women’s restrooms are bigger and nicer than men’s. (Don’t ask me how I know what the inside of a men’s restroom looks like; I am a mother, after all.) And I’m sure there are other ways. Can anyone else think of one?

      • There are a few that I can think of that I mentioned to badbiker.

      • paulasayles

        Our young men DO still have to register, even if there is no draft. I would argue that it is discriminatory.

        Men do have a difficult time in the courts and with police when they are being battered. Many find themselves in anger management classes when they are not the ones with an anger problem. And there are not shelters for battered men.
        HOWEVER, as Biker points out, most men have the wherewithall to get out of the situation, many women do not. And I have known some battered men. Once those men left the situation, they didn’t have to worry about being hunted down and killed. Many of the abused women I have met were in much more dangerous situations.

        I am for complete equality, or as complete as it can get. The lines at public restrooms are always going to be longer for women (it’s an equipment issue). But men should not be discriminated against in the courts. I will stand with my brothers on that.

      • tosmarttobegop

        When it is standing room only in the women’s room!

        Every time I have been to a drive-in, the line for the men’s room flows.

        while the line for the women’s room stretches so far the women at the end have to buy another ticket just to get back into the drive-in.

        And yes every time there are finally some women that rush into the men’s room saying I am sorry but….!”.

        We understand BTW, I have never heard a man complain and we generally get out of the way.

  5. indypendent

    Welcome menareangrynow.

    Are you talking about men’s rights in general or something specific?

    I am a woman but I do think that men have been given the short end of the stick when it comes to the father’s right in a nasty divorce/custody case.

    I’ve known alot of good men who have been treated like they were invisible when they go to court with an angry ex-wife who has remarried and wants to increase the child support because her new husband wants a new boat or RV.

    When my son and daughter-in-law had their first baby, my son would go to every doctor’s appointment with his wife. Sometimes the nurses would look at him and say sarcastically – and you are?? When my son asked them if they did not like it when the fathers come in with the pregnant mother, the reply was ‘we don’t usually get the men to come here’.

    So my son is the ‘abnormal’ one for trying to be a responsible and good father?

    At the hospital when my granddaughter was born, some nurses there did the same thing to him.

    While I understand they need to know who is in the room and their reason for being there – but they never asked me – the mother-in-law – when I was in the room.

    While these examples may not exactly be men’s rights being discriminated against – my son definitely felt he was being singled out and made to feel he was not welcome.

  6. I can think of another. When a man is abused (and they are!) he doesn’t have a sympathetic audience. Yet, he cannot retaliate or he will be charged! Must take it, because few will even believe it. I know of a man who raised his hands to protect his head and in doing so — fists were flailing from HER — his fist connected with her fist and HE was charged with battery, because what she said was what they believed.

    • indypendent

      I agree – I’ve known of a few cases of this myself.

      I blame the attitude of ‘men don’t cry’ and ‘men are not wimps’ for this.

      • Also we teach that “boys don’t hit girls”, which is good; but, we never take the time to say that “girls don’t hit boys” and leave it to just be assumed. As a result, some girls get the wrong impressions and feel like they can be overly physical with boys, and a few walk away thinking that it’s alright for them to hurt guys. The combination of this oversight mixed with the “boys don’t cry” attitude contributes to a lot of turmoil for guys, where they are hit but are made to feel uncomfortable about reporting it.

    • That kind of reminds me of this guy’s story:

      http://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/cq4lc/lesson_learned_the_hard_way/

      His wife hit him and he called the police. The police had him leave his own home, and gave his wife a taser, even though she was the one who was being violent. Now he feels like he can’t call the police, and I don’t blame him. It’s really sad how our law enforcement fails our men. I’ve spoken to the guy a little, and he feels trapped. It’s really sad. If he was female he could just go to domestic violence shelter and bring his kids; but, he can’t. =(

      • paulasayles

        I followed your link. There were some very interesting posts there. Anecdotally, what about the time that a friend of mine was being pushed around by her boyfriend while he screamed at her, though never punched or hit her, and she finally had all she could stand and pounded his chest with her fists. The neighbors got tired of the screaming and her being thrown against their common wall, so they called the cops. When the cops got there, they asked what happened. She was honest. She went to jail because she admitted that she hit him and all he did was push her. She was about 5’6″ and 135lb. He was 6’4″ and probably close to 200lb.

        These stories have to be judged on their individual merits. We can’t say that the woman is always at fault or the man is always at fault.

        I have to say that I, as a woman, was both insulted and disturbed by some of the posts that I saw on the site that your link took me to. I have been a woman in a divorce and my experience is that it was very unfair to me. My ex-husband didn’t want to pay child support, so he underclaimed his income–and this was after over a year of me struggling to raise two daughters on the income of a former stay at home mom. Then, after about ten months of paying $250 a month, he decided that it would be better for him if he quit his job and then they couldn’t garnish his checks anymore. You might be surprised that I am not the only woman I know that this has happened to. I am quite sure that my ex felt like I was trying to ruin him financially and keep my hands in his pockets, but all I was trying to do was to pay the bills. And the people who ended up suffering worst were his daughters. And I wasn’t lazy–I was underpaid because I didn’t have a penis. And because I stayed home (which was a mutual agreement so that he didn’t have to take care of the children or the household chores) to raise our daughters and only did daycare in the home and worked part-time outside of the home, so my salary level was pretty low when I started looking for full-time work. How hard do you think it might be to raise two children on $11.00 per hour?

        If a man is being physically abused by his wife, he should get out of the relationship. If there are children involved, he should do his best to get primary custody of the children. If he can’t do that, he should pay his fair share of the child support–it’s not for the ex-wife, it’s for the children.

  7. indypendent

    I would like to see our society give credit where credit is due.

    I think we can all agree that our society has suffered from the lack of fathers in their childrens’ lives. But I refuse to believe that it is all the mens’ fault.

    Like I stated before – the doctor’s office was so used to not seeing a man with the pregnant woman that it became the norm for them. My grandson is due in 2 months and, again, the doctor’s office (a different doctor this time) has made the comment that they don’t get too many fathers in the office.

    We’ve discussed this before about the tax code and how that might have some effect on the status of single mothers with children.

    But are we intentionally pushing fathers out of the picture or did we simply put in a mindset that it is okay for women to have children without the father involved in the family life?

    We seem to have so many children (and some are now grown adults) that were raised without their father or any adult male guidance.

    Is this something our society is now paying the price for?

    • indypendent

      I know alot of men that take their responsiblity as fathers very seriously – and those are the ones I think we don’t give enough credit.

      I’ve known alot of single fathers raising their kids. But I do think there are more single mothers raising kids.

      I would like to see our society get to the point where we simply want to see every family be happy – and that family could be married, single, homosexual, heterosexual or not even blood-related – just a group of people that have formed a family bond.

      Every human needs and desires to belong and be loved. Why is that so hard to understand?

    • paulasayles

      I have to say that even though my husband is a caring and concerned father, still much of the responsibility for raising our son has fallen on my shoulders.

      If doctors don’t see fathers in the office very often, is it because the fathers can’t afford to take the time off, because fathers just leave it to the wife to take care of, because mothers can’t trust the fathers to remember what the doctor said or because fathers don’t like doctors offices? As many of my married friends seem to suspect, do men have a tendency after awhile to just let the wife take care of things?

      • indypendent

        I don’t know. As you stated upthread somewhere – every case is different.

        There are alot of young teenagers who are pregnant and their mothers are with them. And as most times the same women are seen on the same day – my daughter-in-law gets to see these girls on a monthly basis.

        From their overhearing their conversations, she assumes there is no father involved in alot of these teenage girls’ cases.

        As for the older, married women – it could be the fact that men are not able to take off work, etc.

        And sometimes I think it is just the fact that some men just don’t care.

        But that is my point also – even if a father is not able to be at the doctor’s appointments, that not does him a bad father. But if the father is working, being responsible and at least trying to do what the right thing – I just think our society does not give these men the credit they deserve.

        Unfortunately, the media holds up those ‘bad boys’ up as an example of the latest hottie all the women should just die for.

  8. indypendent

    The way you talk about us guys is very discouraging. I don’t think we’re “dogs” as you put it. =(

    menareangrynow….

    I don’t see WS clark’s comparison of dogs and cats as demeaning. I took his writings to be talking about how men and women are wired different. And I believe that is true.

    I remember a book about much the same topic – Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus (or the other way around?)

    Does anyone else remember that book?

  9. WSClark

    Ah, an interesting turn to this thread – men’s rights. It is true in the civil arena, men face some obstacles that are deeply entrenched in our society, that being, women are better parents than men.

    Well, as you all know, I received custody of my son 21 years ago, when he was two. I also had custody of my daughters soon after divorcing my first wife and until they turned 16. Their mother was much more lenient than I – no school – so they preferred to live with her.

    No, I never received any child support, but I never asked for it either. Yes, I took a bath when I was divorced, but that was mostly because of my income v theirs. (I am 0 for 2.)

    Overall, in my not so humble opinion, men still have the upper hand in society, particularly in the job market.

    Discrimination of any kind is just wrong. Period. I would say, however, that men, particularly white men, receive little of the discrimination that women and minorities are subjected to, in general.

  10. @WSClark

    “It’s been about 20 years since the draft was abolished.”

    It was never abolished. The Selective Service Act is in full effect. I’m 19 and last year I had to sign up for it. I’m really worried that they are going to conscript men for the wars in Middle East. So far there are enough volunteers; but, if that changes… =(

    • WSClark

      “The Selective Service Act is in full effect.”

      My bad – I should have stated that no one is currently being drafted and haven’t been since the mid-Seventies.

      By the way, I found my draft card from when I had to register. I won’t say when it was, but it was written with quill and ink on parchment.

      • @WSClark

        “My bad – I should have stated that no one is currently being drafted and haven’t been since the mid-Seventies.”

        But even then, no one was getting drafted from 1918-1939; but, there still was a draft, because every guy’s name was on the draft list. Yeah, no one is getting drafted right now; but, guys have to register still and they will be forced to fight when the government wants to call them up. The draft is going to exist until Congress specifically bans it through either legislation and/or a constitutional amendment.

  11. @paulasayles

    “as Biker points out, most men have the wherewithall to get out of the situation, many women do not.”

    But all women have the wherewithall to escape. They can go to a domestic violence shelter. The government made sure that such shelters exist all over the country. Men don’t have that option and many are trapped in abusive relationships.

    • paulasayles

      I don’t mean to be disagreeable, menareangrynow, but I have known a few abused women and it was never easy for any of them to get out.
      #1–even in my large suburban setting, men know where the battered women’s shelters are. That can make it very dangerous for a woman to use that option for escape. An order of protection is only a peice of paper and isn’t much use when a man jumps out from behind a bush with violent intent.
      #2–when I use the word “wherewithall” I am mainly talking about money. Many women with children don’t have high-paying jobs, so they don’t have extra money to use for hotels, food, etc for their children while they make their escape. Even those with decent jobs struggle to make ends meet when they leave an abusive relationship. Many have to find new jobs because their abusers harrass them at work. Women don’t make the same money that men do. Women with children don’t have just themselves to worry about and battered women’s shelters are sometimes full, too.

      The “government” is usually petitioned to step in to equalize a situation wherein one party is at a disadvantage. Civil rights, equal rights, quotas, are all put in place to right a wrong that has occurred because society has given an unequal amount of power to one group over another. But they can only fund so many shelters, and many are privately funded, so there aren’t always shelters for women and children to go to.

      I wonder if we can agree on even that point?

  12. @WSClark

    “There is no logical reason to circumcise females, there is (debatable) for men.”

    What are the unique reasons to circumcise men? The one’s I’ve heard are identical to the ones used to argue for circumcising women, i.e. cleanliness, religious tradition, preventing diseases, curbing sexuality, etc.

    • WSClark

      Hmmmmm, female circumcision is genital mutilation – removal of the clitoris – and is not done for reasons of cleanliness.

      Male circumcision – removal of part of the foreskin – is thought by some to be a necessary part of male genital cleanliness and health. As I said – debatable.

  13. menareangrynow,

    For such a young man you are quite centered on your cause. I’m not being critical, but life usually doesn’t get young people riled up quite so quickly. Always be sure you temper anger or you’ll lose your audience and the good you could do for your cause will be lessened.

    I want to add my welcome to PPPs. We discuss a wide range of topics here and don’t concentrate on any one area. I hope you join us in our diverse conversations!

    • Thank you to you and everyone else for the warm welcoming. I just wish I could type faster to reply to all quickly enough. I look forward to chatting it up with you all. =)

      And don’t worry, I talk about other things. I just focus on this subject; because, so few others talk about it, and it’s really important to me.

      • WSClark

        As Fnord’s “evil co-administrator” I would also like to welcome you “Men.” We are a goofy bunch here – we often go off on a tangent – but that’s what makes us so lovable.

        Your opinions are welcome and respected.

        As Fnord says, “pull up a chair and stay awhile!”

  14. Fair warning, menareangrynow, there are more women who blog here regularly than men. Many of us have been blogging together for a few years, although we have some newer bloggers who have joined us. We get to learn new things and see new perspectives every time a new voice is added. Pretty nice, huh!?

    If there is a mutual interest here it’s probably politics — we are a bunch of news hounds and in paying attention we naturally form opinions and share those here. We have several political leanings represented but we mostly fall in the ‘evil libaruhl’ category. Sometimes new bloggers take us to task and sometimes we totter on the edge of argument before we finally take deep breaths and continue more calmly or agree to disagree.

    Men’s rights isn’t a subject I know much about. I’ll bet you can teach me. Basically I’m for a just world where all people are treated with dignity and all have equal (as is possible) rights. I think gays should be allowed to marry, women shouldn’t have limits on their reproductive decisions, those with special needs should be afforded them… I think you get the idea. 😉

  15. tosmarttobegop

    A story that some of this remembered me of:

    Jim was 64 years old and his 18 y.o. daughter married her high school sweetheart and then within three months was pregnant.

    Her husband hit with the sudden news freaked and left her so since her mother had died and Jim was the only one left she loved and trusted. Asked her dad to come to the birthing classes with her.

    The first time around introducing themselves to the class and his daughter having decided to use her maiden name. It got to be Jim and his daughter’s turn so it was Jim and sally XXXXX.

    The women looked in shock at the old man and the young pregnant woman.

    The men on the other hand get Jim a thumb’s up!

    Then to make matter worse, Jim trying to straight out the misimpression blurted out “No she is my daughter!” The room fell silent and he suddenly after realizing how that sounded left it to the nurse to explain.

    True story and Jim is so proud of his grandson!

  16. tosmarttobegop

    Ok, wanted to stay lite but here is one, the court system and with regards to child support is often one side.
    One of the worst examples I have seen was the guy who just wanted to know how his son was doing in High school?

    He ended up having to go to court to get a court order to allow him to even talk about it.
    Once he was able to, he went to the school and only then learned his ex-wife had signed guardianship of their son to another couple.

    Two years prior!

    She was still getting child support and in fact made it a routine to take him before a judge every six months demanding a increase in it. It was court ordered that he had to provide health insurance for the children.
    And she took him to court demanding he change and get better insurance because she thought the deductible was too high!

    It was his turn to take her before a judge and demand that he have an explanation as to how and why she had signed guardianship over to someone he did not know?

    The judge asked her if it was true and did she give any of the child support she had gotten for the boy in the last two years to the people who had guardianship?

    She admitted it was true and no it never occurred to her to give them any money and they had never asked for any. All the judge did was tell her she should have and it was not nice of her to not have told her ex about the boy was not living with her any more!

    There have been cases where the court ordered a man to pay child support even when it was established that he was not the father. Because someone has to pay for the child!

    A judge once told a ex that he did not care if the man’s current family was living in a cardboard box and digging in the dumpsters behind a McDonalds for food he was to pay for his first family before he paid for his current family.

    The ex had been laid off and his ex wife was a RN married to a Doctor and between them they made over four hundred thousand a year.