My Father’s Apparent CVA…

Well, it has not been a good year for me, or for those I love.   I think my father has had a stroke.  He seems frozen in a time where what he believes to be true, is no longer true.  As an example to the foregoing, my mother’s older brother was my father’s best friend in high school.  He had difficulty believing my mother and me when today (02/25/10) we told him this relative died over ten years ago.  He had difficulty believing us when he brought him up to date on the fate of several relatives.

I am grateful that he his not mean or angry like many people get when told such things by their families.  My dad seems to have a recognition that he is not doing real well right now.  It is odd, and I am not sure why I thought so, but I always believed my father would be around to take care of my mother, not the other way around.  Statistically, the foregoing would seem unlikely – but, I thought it would be true, none the less…

iggydonnelly

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16 Comments

Filed under Life Lessons

16 responses to “My Father’s Apparent CVA…

  1. My dad saw a specialist on Thursday, he will see a cardiologist on Tuesday. So, we will know more as time progresses.

  2. PrairiePond

    Iggy, I’m thinking of you and yours. It’s a difficult time. People who have been through it with the parents know what I’m talking about. The ones who havent… yet…. will.

    Love ya, dude. He’s lucky to have a son like you!

  3. NightHawk

    It’s sad that parents don’t last forever. My folks are getting pretty old, but they’re blessed with excellent health. Pop is 82 so I worry about him. Parents are the anchor of our lives. too bad some of us take so long to realize that.

    Hopes and prayers for you and your family, iggydonnelly.

  4. itolduso

    May God give your family the strength to deal with all that is ahead. It is most times a difficult journey

  5. lilacluvr

    Taking care of elderly parents can be so difficult. Just remember, iggy, your father is experiencing something that is so traumatic to him but even more traumatic to the rest of the family because they have to witness it.

    Take care of your mom, yourself, your kids and everyone in the family. This can be a long, tough road but with the family’s strength, it can be a time for bonding together and making something good out of a tense situation.

    Life is too short and we all need to sit back and recognize the priorities in life. And you’ve got your priorities straight – the love for your family.

    I’ll be keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

  6. iggy, I join with the others in their posts. Stay strong, but please take some time for yourself. Same for your mother and your family. You can always “talk” to me if you wish, seeing as how I’ve some first-person experience.

  7. Iggy,

    Sorry for you and your family that you are going through some rough times. Having lost several older relatives, I don’t know if it’s worse losing them quickly or watching them fade away slowly.

    The hardest thing for me right now with my parents is that they live far away and refuse to move closer because of the cold weather here. They don’t tell us what’s going on and I have a feeling that when the time comes, there will be no warning at all.

    Take care, Iggy. Like 6176 said. God grant you strength, courage and comfort.

    • lilacluvr

      Paula – my parents are 800 miles away and they have faced some serious health issues in the past few years. It is always hard being that far away and not knowing what is going on until after it happens.

      My sister lives with them now and that is comforting to know but it is still hard.

      • My surviving parent lives only 60 miles away, and I worry, too. The majority of my siblings live close, and are always quick to keep me “in the loop”, much to my mother’s dismay. I think she is convinced I have one foot “in the home” with the other approaching the grave, and should not be worried with the “trivial details”. Regardless, it is truly worrisome to me, and my current physical infirmities such as they are prevent me from devoting as much time and attention to her as I otherwise could.

  8. tosmarttobegop

    Iggy I have been there and I am going through the emotion effect of having my aging mother living with us.
    I use to hate how my dad treated his mother, it seemed he could not go more then ten minutes before he would become angry at her and what seemed to me such little things.

    Since mom has came to live with us, I find myself having the same things happening.
    In a real sense it is one of the hardest things to deal with.
    Your dad or mom had always been the smartest and sound in thought.
    Suddenly they are not, recently mom and I were watching TV and they were talking about the Scotty that won the dog show.

    Suddenly she posed the question, “I wonder how Goody is doing?”.
    Goody was her Aunt’s dog almost thirty years ago and both had died twenty years ago.
    I questioned “Goody?”.
    She got defensive, “Aunt Ann’s dog!”.
    Then she acted shock when I told her that Goody would be almost forty years old by now mom.
    The look on her face showed her dismay, realizing just what the reality was.

    Your dad will need your patience’s and understand forewarning it will not always be easy.
    When the Doctor told me that Dad was suffering from dementia and would see me as he did at ten.
    I was crushed, as you may have taken dad was a great influence to me.
    Thankfully there were more good times then bad times.

    You know that we are here for you and some know the route of how this goes.
    hoping for the best for you and yours.

  9. fnord

    I’m sad with you, Iggy. If you ever need a shoulder, you’ve got both of mine. I hope you listen to the advice about taking care of yourself!

  10. Oh Lord, that’s got to be so difficult. I know it’s important to care for him, but please take care of yourself while you do!

    Ok, typing and seeing that f is saying the same thing. For once, I must be right, cause there’s your proof.

  11. Thank you, all. I appreciate your words very much — more than I can explain.

  12. I will be joining my sister, next week, in seeing the M.D.’s along with our father, to hopefully gain a better understanding of what will be upcoming for us all.

  13. PrairiePond

    Iggy, I think we are all very lucky here in this little corner of the world to have each other. There are some great folks here who love you and each other very much.

    In true Pondy spirit, I say “Y’all are some damn fine mf’ers!”

    Hee hee heeeee!

    Dont forget to laugh some, too, Iggy. There will be good times in the end game as well!