Factors can lead to a house being broken down, money is always a consideration you don’t fix the problem if you can not afford the cost. But they’re maybe an equally depressing factor that is not as plain to see as a house in need of paint or the wearing of old and faded clothes.

It is of a broken soul, one where the hope is gone and all that is left is the continuation of life.

Housework left undone, as there seems little reason to do it, it will not change what is the real problem.

Why clean a house if after doing so it is still a place you would rather not be?

There seems little use of repair or patch if it does not change life and love to something that is to be cherished.

Perhaps the people are in a stale marriage, one where the daily turn is the consideration of which would be more painful. To be with them or to be without them? Maybe in the past such efforts as to improve a marriage ends not in an improvement. But a shining light to highlight that which has not changed or will not.

So why then waste the time and money on improving a house? When a stale marriage can also be found in a Palace. Be it a wanting house or a Palace the marriage is still stale and also wanting.

Perhaps life it’s self has taken an overall down turn and the house is simply reflecting almost a punishment for the down turns. Failing any attempts to cause an upturn has left the residents of the house to suffer the outward show of the inward sorrow.

You drive down the street and see the house, which is a blight thinking to yourself these must be poor and un-respectful people of society. Maybe uneducated and lazy on welfare so they live barely above an animal.

But then there maybe a story that goes beyond a checkbook or an education being told.


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  1. David B

    Thank you for these moving observations… I’m now getting the paint brushes out…

  2. Pedant

    Ah. This sounds familiar. This is how I felt in the couple years prior to my 1999 divorce (and truth be told I still feel twinges today).

    Be careful. This is dangerous.

    So. Here’s what worked for me.

    1. Know what makes you happy.

    2. Do that.

    3. The rest will sort itself out.*

    Hey, it took me around the world (literally) and after a short return to Wichita it plunked me down on the East coast.

    *–I also exercise religiously (in fact physical effort is my religion), drink too much (religion Part II), read too much (I’m interested in everything), read too little (no time), work too much (where the time goes), and listen to music whenever I can.

    Best of luck. Hang in there. Remember, one foot in front of the other.

    • Peggy

      Sounds like my life and divorce 10 years before yours. My journey, when I finally made it, didn’t take me around the world. But I did travel from California to Maine. Sometimes I thought I was simply looking for what was left of myself. Thank you for putting into words what many of us feel but can’t seem to say.

  3. Very well put and very well articulated. Home is a state of interconnectedness of those dwelling within it. It can be a place of refuge or an imprisonment.

  4. I’m sorry if you got two of the same comments from me. I wasn’t sure if the first went through and maybe, it might be my OCD and my need to do everything in pairs of two. LOL.

  5. Hello Peggy, welcome Richard.