Comments on: SNAKES AND SNAILS AND PUPPY DOG TAILS http://iggydonnelly.wordpress.com/2009/07/04/snakes-and-snells-and-puppy-dog-tails/ "We have nothing to lose but our chains" Mother Jones Tue, 24 Nov 2009 00:49:50 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 By: tosmarttobegop http://iggydonnelly.wordpress.com/2009/07/04/snakes-and-snells-and-puppy-dog-tails/#comment-8334 tosmarttobegop Mon, 06 Jul 2009 03:28:01 +0000 http://iggydonnelly.wordpress.com/?p=3518#comment-8334 Late teen/ early twenties I too was a sight, 250 pounds and hair pass my shoulders 6-2 and always in a leather jacket sometimes wearing my lone wolf colors. Seldom was I ever pushed and generally as Biker said few took me as a teddy bear from my appearance. It did make for a funny incident though, my girlfriend then now wife was working at a truck stop in Lyons. There was a guy who was all of 5-4 and would hit on her every time he would come in. Asking her out and to show him around town to which she would tell him she had a boyfriend. It got worse when she finally told him I lived in Wichita. One night I was there and wanted a mint so I stood in line for the cash register and my girlfriend was running it. There was this little guy in front of me and every time the line moved he would look up at me. Finally he got to the register and he leaned on the counter and said “So sugar, how is your boyfriend?”. My girl friend smiled and said, “ask him yourself he is behind you!”. neither one of us saw him move, the next thing that happen was the front door flew open and he was gone! Late teen/ early twenties I too was a sight, 250 pounds and hair pass my shoulders 6-2 and always in a leather jacket sometimes wearing my lone wolf colors. Seldom was I ever pushed and generally as Biker said few took me as a teddy bear from my appearance. It did make for a funny incident though, my girlfriend then now wife was working at a truck stop in Lyons. There was a guy who was all of 5-4 and would hit on her every time he would come in. Asking her out and to show him around town to which she would tell him she had a boyfriend. It got worse when she finally told him I lived in Wichita.

One night I was there and wanted a mint so I stood in line for the cash register and my girlfriend was running it. There was this little guy in front of me and every time the line moved he would look up at me.
Finally he got to the register and he leaned on the counter and said “So sugar, how is your boyfriend?”.
My girl friend smiled and said, “ask him yourself he is behind you!”.

neither one of us saw him move, the next thing that happen was the front door flew open and he was gone!

]]> By: Bad Biker http://iggydonnelly.wordpress.com/2009/07/04/snakes-and-snells-and-puppy-dog-tails/#comment-8333 Bad Biker Mon, 06 Jul 2009 00:44:03 +0000 http://iggydonnelly.wordpress.com/?p=3518#comment-8333 A decade ago, a dawning came over me after many years of being unaware. The people around me thought of me as a bully, or at least someone to be feared physically. It came as a shock to me. I ignored comments people made to me over the years, because I just chalked them up paranoia on their part, since I hadn't been in a fight or even struck anyone since my very early twenties. Ten years ago, I was pretty buff (not so now, but I am still at the correct weight for my height.) I have a barrel-chest. Further, I have (had) a quick temper and I look like a deranged killer when I am angry. I used to do the "in your face" finger pointing thing when I was angry. Up close and personal, as they say. The turning point came for me ten years ago, when a female acquaintance of mine was having a problem with her live-in boyfriend that had returned to his crack habit. She wanted him to move out and asked me to "convince" him to go until he cleaned up his act. She didn't specifically as me to us violence, not did I offer, but I did say that I would "talk to him." This guy was a number of years younger than me, more than several inches taller and probably out-weighed me by twenty pounds. When I showed up at her door on a Saturday morning, he went out the back and ran like Hell. She told me that the guy was "terrified" of me and was afraid that I would show up to "talk." Since then, I have tried to be conscious of the image I project. Even though I have not had a fight in decades and am closer to Sixties than I am to Fifty, I don't want people to think of me in a negative light. A decade ago, a dawning came over me after many years of being unaware.

The people around me thought of me as a bully, or at least someone to be feared physically.

It came as a shock to me.

I ignored comments people made to me over the years, because I just chalked them up paranoia on their part, since I hadn’t been in a fight or even struck anyone since my very early twenties.

Ten years ago, I was pretty buff (not so now, but I am still at the correct weight for my height.) I have a barrel-chest. Further, I have (had) a quick temper and I look like a deranged killer when I am angry. I used to do the “in your face” finger pointing thing when I was angry.

Up close and personal, as they say.

The turning point came for me ten years ago, when a female acquaintance of mine was having a problem with her live-in boyfriend that had returned to his crack habit. She wanted him to move out and asked me to “convince” him to go until he cleaned up his act. She didn’t specifically as me to us violence, not did I offer, but I did say that I would “talk to him.”

This guy was a number of years younger than me, more than several inches taller and probably out-weighed me by twenty pounds.

When I showed up at her door on a Saturday morning, he went out the back and ran like Hell.

She told me that the guy was “terrified” of me and was afraid that I would show up to “talk.”

Since then, I have tried to be conscious of the image I project. Even though I have not had a fight in decades and am closer to Sixties than I am to Fifty, I don’t want people to think of me in a negative light.

]]> By: tosmarttobegop http://iggydonnelly.wordpress.com/2009/07/04/snakes-and-snells-and-puppy-dog-tails/#comment-8331 tosmarttobegop Sun, 05 Jul 2009 22:40:50 +0000 http://iggydonnelly.wordpress.com/?p=3518#comment-8331 I am not sure we can out grown it as a basic instinct, we can over come it and learn to fight it but it will still be there. Most bullies years later admit they did not see themselves as being that bad or excuse it as just being a part of the crowd. Yes if anything we do tend to be more our same sex parent in adult life then we like or will admit at times. My son-in-law I guess I can still call him that, has to fight his own upbringing as his father was a horrid father who singled him out for abuse. He had no other example of being a father but he also loves his sons and tries to be a better dad. But it is not easy for him as he also wants the freedom from parenthood he saw his father had. A child is solely there to change channels and go get a beer, but all and all he is making a good effort in spite of the role model he had. I try myself to set an example for him to notice. He married later in life and is still thinking as a single man does at times. Would rather be fishing than watching his children as they are still to young to go with him. But to his credit the boys are still in diapers and never go long with a dirty diaper on. I am not sure we can out grown it as a basic instinct, we can over come it and learn to fight it but it will still be there. Most bullies years later admit they did not see themselves as being that bad or excuse it as just being a part of the crowd. Yes if anything we do tend to be more our same sex parent in adult life then we like or will admit at times.

My son-in-law I guess I can still call him that, has to fight his own upbringing as his father was a horrid father who singled him out for abuse. He had no other example of being a father but he also loves his sons and tries to be a better dad. But it is not easy for him as he also wants the freedom from parenthood he saw his father had. A child is solely there to change channels and go get a beer, but all and all he is making a good effort in spite of the role model he had. I try myself to set an example for him to notice.

He married later in life and is still thinking as a single man does at times. Would rather be fishing than watching his children as they are still to young to go with him. But to his credit the boys are still in diapers and never go long with a dirty diaper on.

]]> By: wicked http://iggydonnelly.wordpress.com/2009/07/04/snakes-and-snells-and-puppy-dog-tails/#comment-8329 wicked Sun, 05 Jul 2009 17:13:40 +0000 http://iggydonnelly.wordpress.com/?p=3518#comment-8329 tstb, you're probably right. Basic instinct that we should have outrown centuries ago. I think the s-i-l is like that because his father (not his step-father) was a bully. Both of them have been diagnosed as bi-polar, and dad is an alcoholic. But I've also found through watching human nature that those who are braggarts or pick on others often feel they don't measure up, so they do everything they can to make themselves appear better than they are or they pick on those weaker to make themselves feel stronger. tstb, you’re probably right. Basic instinct that we should have outrown centuries ago.

I think the s-i-l is like that because his father (not his step-father) was a bully. Both of them have been diagnosed as bi-polar, and dad is an alcoholic.

But I’ve also found through watching human nature that those who are braggarts or pick on others often feel they don’t measure up, so they do everything they can to make themselves appear better than they are or they pick on those weaker to make themselves feel stronger.

]]> By: tosmarttobegop http://iggydonnelly.wordpress.com/2009/07/04/snakes-and-snells-and-puppy-dog-tails/#comment-8327 tosmarttobegop Sun, 05 Jul 2009 17:05:24 +0000 http://iggydonnelly.wordpress.com/?p=3518#comment-8327 Wicked I think a lot of it is just basic instinct, the weak are prey to the stronger in nature. But also in a sense the bully is get them before they can be got. A show of strength so others do not prey on them for their weakness. Logically it makes no sense as what is truly proven by the son-in-law when he is preying on a child? It does not show any real strength and is no indication that if truly challenged he could defend himself. Wicked I think a lot of it is just basic instinct, the weak are prey to the stronger in nature.
But also in a sense the bully is get them before they can be got. A show of strength so others do not prey on them for their weakness. Logically it makes no sense as what is truly proven by the son-in-law when he is preying on a child? It does not show any real strength and is no indication that if truly challenged he could defend himself.

]]> By: wicked http://iggydonnelly.wordpress.com/2009/07/04/snakes-and-snells-and-puppy-dog-tails/#comment-8324 wicked Sun, 05 Jul 2009 16:36:57 +0000 http://iggydonnelly.wordpress.com/?p=3518#comment-8324 One of my sons-in-law is a bully. Egotistical, stretch-the-facts-to-fit kinda guy. He bullies his step-kids (two of my grandkids), my oldest granddaughter, and my next to oldest daughter whenever he can. It's sickening. It's like he smells weakness and goes in for the kill. One day soon, he'll overstep the line, and I'll be the one going in for the kill...without raising a finger. I'm waiting for the right moment...or until I blow my top, whichever comes first. One of my sons-in-law is a bully. Egotistical, stretch-the-facts-to-fit kinda guy. He bullies his step-kids (two of my grandkids), my oldest granddaughter, and my next to oldest daughter whenever he can. It’s sickening. It’s like he smells weakness and goes in for the kill.

One day soon, he’ll overstep the line, and I’ll be the one going in for the kill…without raising a finger. I’m waiting for the right moment…or until I blow my top, whichever comes first.

]]> By: wicked http://iggydonnelly.wordpress.com/2009/07/04/snakes-and-snells-and-puppy-dog-tails/#comment-8323 wicked Sun, 05 Jul 2009 16:31:13 +0000 http://iggydonnelly.wordpress.com/?p=3518#comment-8323 Shouldn't we be wondering WHY the bully is the bully? Are they born that way? Gene? Or does something happen to make them seek out and torture those weaker than them? Shouldn’t we be wondering WHY the bully is the bully? Are they born that way? Gene? Or does something happen to make them seek out and torture those weaker than them?

]]> By: wicked http://iggydonnelly.wordpress.com/2009/07/04/snakes-and-snells-and-puppy-dog-tails/#comment-8322 wicked Sun, 05 Jul 2009 16:29:36 +0000 http://iggydonnelly.wordpress.com/?p=3518#comment-8322 The karma was him being a prisoner in jail--any jail. The rest was just getting even. The karma was him being a prisoner in jail–any jail. The rest was just getting even.

]]> By: tosmarttobegop http://iggydonnelly.wordpress.com/2009/07/04/snakes-and-snells-and-puppy-dog-tails/#comment-8315 tosmarttobegop Sun, 05 Jul 2009 15:00:09 +0000 http://iggydonnelly.wordpress.com/?p=3518#comment-8315 It certainly give one the understanding of empathy with those who are down-trodden. You understand that being weaker is not a fault as it is not “the end all-be all” of a person. Eric you have a gift that many dream of having, would feel their own self worth would be increased if they had a artistic ability. I am envious of that and my oldest son is so good in high school that was how he made his pocket money. In many respect our experiences do make us better people as we are not diluted into thinking some how we are prefect. But we come to a core that is honed and solid without the fake outer aspect. It certainly give one the understanding of empathy with those who are down-trodden.
You understand that being weaker is not a fault as it is not “the end all-be all” of a person.
Eric you have a gift that many dream of having, would feel their own self worth would be increased if they had a artistic ability. I am envious of that and my oldest son is so good in high school that was how he made his pocket money.

In many respect our experiences do make us better people as we are not diluted into thinking some how we are prefect. But we come to a core that is honed and solid without the fake outer aspect.

]]> By: tosmarttobegop http://iggydonnelly.wordpress.com/2009/07/04/snakes-and-snells-and-puppy-dog-tails/#comment-8313 tosmarttobegop Sun, 05 Jul 2009 14:45:34 +0000 http://iggydonnelly.wordpress.com/?p=3518#comment-8313 The guy who was taking a dime from me. Karma came back at him. In the passage of 14 years the short and fat, weak boy grew to be 6’2” and retain his weight, which means my weight matched my height. Also I had been a Jailor for over four years. The night I saw the bully name on a booking card I went about mental torture slowly giving a bit at a time information until he knew who I was and that I remembered him. He even came to the floor I was working so by the end of my shift the opportunity was given for me to explain my stance. As the third shifter and I made a shift change tour, I stopped at Louis cell and asked if he remembered me? He said “hey dude that was fourteen years ago we were different people!”. TO which I replied: You made me feel less than human, you made me feel frighten of life and being around other people! Yes we were different people, I want you to fully understand this. If you ever try to take anything from me no matter what it is worth. I will rip your arm off and beat you to death with your own arm! Do you understand that? “. He meekly said “yes”, to see the level of fear he had instilled in me in his own eyes is karma. The guy who was taking a dime from me. Karma came back at him. In the passage of 14 years the short and fat, weak boy grew to be 6’2” and retain his weight, which means my weight matched my height. Also I had been a Jailor for over four years. The night I saw the bully name on a booking card I went about mental torture slowly giving a bit at a time information until he knew who I was and that I remembered him.

He even came to the floor I was working so by the end of my shift the opportunity was given for me to explain my stance. As the third shifter and I made a shift change tour, I stopped at Louis cell and asked if he remembered me? He said “hey dude that was fourteen years ago we were different people!”.

TO which I replied: You made me feel less than human, you made me feel frighten of life and being around other people! Yes we were different people, I want you to fully understand this. If you ever try to take anything from me no matter what it is worth. I will rip your arm off and beat you to death with your own arm! Do you understand that? “.

He meekly said “yes”, to see the level of fear he had instilled in me in his own eyes is karma.

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